|Season Four, Episode Two|
|Air date||17 May, 2004|
|Written by||Steven Moffat|
|Directed by||Martin Dennis|
Nine and a Half Minutes
Late at night and a phone call that Will Not Die. You know how sometimes you can't get someone off the phone? There are too many people in this phone call. And one of them isn't really there. Meanwhile, Susan is worried she's turning into an emotional tent; she and Steve are now well and truly an item - so why is he dreaming about being executed by a method Never Before Seen on British Television - and chased by a foetus with an axe?
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- Jack Davenport as Steve Taylor
- Sarah Alexander as Susan Walker
- Kate Isitt as Sally Harper
- Ben Miles as Patrick Maitland
- Gina Bellman as Jane Christie
- Richard Mylan as Oliver Morris
Supporting and guest cast
- Cosima Shaw as Sexy Girl
- Nicholas Briggs as Dalek Voice
Steve (to Susan): Sorry I'm so rubbish.
Tamsin: So, are you seeing anyone?
Oliver: Well, No. I guess it's a bit soon for all that isn't it? Isn't it?
Tamsin: It's been a year...
Oliver: Well, no we only...
Tamsin: Since we've had sex...
Oliver: Well actually it's been...
Tamsin: Both of us succesfully.
(Oliver stares at Tamsin's chest.)
Tamsin: What is the fasination with bosom staring?
Oliver: I don't know really. Maybe it's because the bosom is the only erogenous zone that can stare back.
Tamsin: Goodbye Oliver.
Oliver: Tamsin, now that we're officially 'Splitto', do you think we could risk having a friendly drink?
Oliver: see ya
(She leaves. Door closes. Box screams 'Exterminate' and Oliver hits it. Oliver picks up bag as he looks at door.)
Oliver: Definitely thawing... Splitto?
Tamsin: Oliver! It's nearly Midnight for goodness sake!
Oliver: Oh, Tamsin, Hello. Just got a few deliveries... Craziness!
Tamsin: More toys for your little shop?
Oliver: Well Tv and movie tie in merchandise if that's what you mean.
(He places his hand in a box)
Box: Exterminate! Exterm...
(Oliver slams the box again)
Tamsin: Anyway, I was just passing. Saw you with your face in your drool, lots of little robots, and I thought That'l be my ex-boyfriend... Takes your eyes of my boosem.
Oliver: Sorry yeah. (He stares again.) Have they got bigger?
Tamsin: No just more unavailable.
Sally: (waking him up): Patrick? Patrick?
Patrick: I can't stay the night; I've got a breakfast meeting.
Sally: It's okay, it's okay! You're home.
Patrick: Sorry, autopilot
Sally: I've heard about your autopilot. Susan has told me stories.
Sally: Like once you accidentally phoned a girl a taxi before you had sex.
Patrick: Oh, that. It wasn't exactly an accident.
Patrick: There's a difference between an accident and a quickie.
Sally: Oh god.
Sally: What sort of woman would ever have sex with you?!
Sally: I can't believe I'm with a man with a pregnancy fetish!
Patrick: I can't believe I'm with a woman who suddenly wants a baby!
Sally: How is it ever gonna work?
Steve: (about Susan and her pregnancy) I've made my bed now I've got to lie to it. In it, obviously.
Steve: Jane, Could you stop doing this? Could you stop just wandering in through my front door? Because this is not, repeat not, an American sitcom.
A Dalek makes an appearance in Hellmouths, Oliver's science fiction store.
A bit of continuation. Patrick's cupboard (from 'The Cupboard of Patrick's Love')is mentioned again, as there are clues to suggest that Patrick has slept with Jane, and promptly Sally 'demands access to the cupboard'.